Steadfast Faith: The Pain of Partiality in the Church

Dear Friends in Christ, 

In my last blog, we addressed partiality in the church according to James 2:1-13. You may remember that I asked you some pretty hard questions. I’m hoping we can all examine ourselves very vulnerably before the Lord so we can learn to honor all people. May we love all people well, friends!

This week, we will look at the same passage of James 2 but from a different perspective. This time I’d like to ask a different set of questions. I’d like us to be vulnerable in a whole different way. This time, let’s look at 

ways you may have been hurt by biases within the church.

Before I ask you to do this, I think it would be wise for me to take a second and share some things about myself before we even move forward on this topic. Because, truth is, I don’t know what ideas you may have about what kind of person I am or what kind of experiences I’ve had. It might matter to some of you as we discuss being mistreated based on factors such as race, ethnicity, disability, intelligence, age, gender, beauty, profession, spirituality, past mistakes, or socioeconomic status (those are the factors we looked at in the last blog post.)

I’ve experienced a measure of unfair treatment based on several of these above factors - although neither extremely nor pervasively. Some are so personal or even traumatic, that I would never share them in this context. And some are changing as I age and enter very new seasons of life. I can promise you that I know the pain and even trauma of being judged and/or mistreated for factors you don’t even have control over. I’ve also walked alongside others who were far more mistreated than myself.   

I am a person who has always been drawn to people - I love people - and have always had a particular love for people of all cultures, languages, ethnicities, and races. I was an exchange student in high school and college (thanks to scholarships).  At the age of 15, I sat in shock and wept at places like Nuremberg where Nazis once rallied, and you could still faintly see swastikas on the sides of the buildings.  And again later in places like Dachau, where Jewish people - because of their race and their faith - suffered.  They were treated like animals, tortured, and killed.  The whole time I had the knowledge that I am 50% German.

Many of you already know this, but my husband and I have four children (they’re young adults now actually). We have three boys, and one daughter.  We were blessed with our daughter through international adoption.  She is Chinese (or at least we think so). While we were in China, many Chinese people told us, “She’s mixed.” We don’t know for sure. Here’s something I do know…each of my four children has a very diverse group of friends, and they ALL come and make themselves at home at my house. They are welcomed, loved and respected here. 

From the time I became a Christian at age 14, God has spoken to me about love. I’ve learned that we must first learn about His love for us. Then He can teach us to properly love ourselves.  And in the process, He can teach us how to love others well. That’s when we can love the Lord our God with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength; and love our neighbors as ourselves.

And here’s what really stinks…

If you’ve been devalued through biases or partiality, 

it often makes it much harder to grasp God’s love;  

Harder to love yourself appropriately;  

And harder to love others well.

Here are some of my questions for you today. Please reflect and pray about these questions:

1. How have you been mistreated by bias, prejudice, or partiality in life?  
2. In any of these situations, were you harmed in some way by the church or a person in the church?
3. If so, has it impacted your ability to receive God’s love? Or your ability to love God? If so, how?
4. Has such partiality or hurt caused you to struggle in valuing or loving yourself properly? If so, how?
5. Has your way of coping with “church hurt” or any mistreatment from the church left you unable or unwilling to love others well?
6. What other ways has unfair judgment from within the body of Christ harmed you emotionally or spiritually?
7. What are some biblical steps you could take to heal from this type of pain? If you are unsure, please seek wise counsel. Healing is possible! 

Friend, if you have been hurt by partiality in the church, 

I am so very sorry!  

I am praying for you as I write this blog!

My prayers for you:

I’m praying you’ll allow God’s love for you to saturate your entire being!  

I pray you’ll never doubt how much He cares for you!  

I also pray you’ll be able to see yourself through His eyes and through the lens of the Truth!  

Based on God’s Word, my encouragement to you:

You are His treasured possession and the apple of His eye!  

You might believe you aren’t valuable, because others treated you as though you had no worth; but it’s not true!  

You have great worth in the Lord’s eyes, and He sacrificed His very life to have a relationship with you! He is able to heal you!  

And He is able to restore your ability to love others well.

One last story...

A couple of years ago, I had the humbling opportunity to teach this passage of James 2 to a Bible study group of approximately 25 incarcerated females - in Birmingham, Alabama. Please stop and take that in. These women know what it’s like to be judged for their past mistakes.  And some of them lived through the days of desegregation here in Alabama! In our group, about one third of the ladies were African American women; and the other two thirds were Caucasian women. Various ages and backgrounds were represented in the room. And we set aside a couple of weeks to work through a racial reconciliation curriculum a fellow Christian counselor had written.

We had some very uncomfortable moments. We shed some tears. We grew in empathy. We sat in shock with one another. We grew in love and respect with one another. And my favorite part: 

We grew in our understanding that 

all people are equally worthy

of love and respect. 

We each agreed that we did not want to be a “respecter of persons.” We want to be more like Jesus and James instead.  Let's love one another well as a way of exhibiting our steadfast, genuine faith!

Looking to Him,

Tina

P.S. This blog post is not perfect. It’s not a theological treatise. It’s not a scholarly article. But it does contain significant ways to consider applying James 2 to our own lives and relationships.  Also, it is from my heart - the parts I’m at liberty to share anyway. Consider it a letter...from one friend to another.

P.P.S. I’ve discussed some of these same ideas in the workbook and teaching videos of my Bible study, Through Seasons of Beauty. You can take a closer look on my website.